Sunday, May 15, 2011
reality
Sometimes I see things going on in the world around me, even on TV and it feels like that is life that I will never be a part of it. I don't really feel like that I am ever going to be a part of that, like I am on the outside looking in. Marriage, careers, kids, night out with the girls, night out with the guys. It just feels like that is something that I can't have. Whether I am keeping myself from it or I just can't quite get there, it is a surreal feeling. Sometimes I almost feel like a ghost. I suppose it doesn't help that I find that I am incredibly forgettable. I wonder when I will enter the world.
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I know how you feel! But I choose to be there. I find those things are actually not that great. The little Ive experienced , the happiness is fleeting. Im happiest alone with my cats and boyfriend. In my own protected world. Though sometimes it does feel like you are a small light living in your chest and everyone and thing is far away, and everything is hard to hear cause you are so small. But I wouldnt want it any other way, because I wouldnt be happy.
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